Say What?

The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.

Neil deGrasse Tyson

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

Mark Twain

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.

Fran Lebowitz

Self-centered indulgence, pride and a lack of shame over sin are now emblems of the American lifestyle.

Billy Graham

I don't believe in absolutes...most of the time.

Unknown

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

Ambrose Bierce

The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.

Albert Camus

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin

The earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were eternal.

Camille Paglia

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

Bill Maher

Anyone who believes in magic is a fool.

Harry Houdini

A great man is always prepared to be little.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

It always makes me proud to love the world somehow – hate's so easy compared.

Jack Kerouac

Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.

William S. Burroughs

Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn that there are other points of view.

William F. Buckley

You never hear in the news, “Two hundred killed today when atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the agnostic stronghold in the north.” Doug Stanhope

A Christian ought to speak kindly even when given the opportunity to retaliate.

Rick Warren

All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Blaise Pascal

Don't you love the Oxford Dictionary? When I first read it, I thought it was a really, really long poem about everything.

David Bowie

Pretending to be modest kind of misses the point.

Unknown

The masses have never thirsted after truth. They turn aside from evidence that is not to their taste, preferring to deify error, if error seduce them.

Gustave Le Bon

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W.C. Fields

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.

George Will

The elementary rules of logic: that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and that what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.

Christopher Hitchens

Credit you give yourself is not worth having.

Irving Thalberg

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

P.J. O'Rourke

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.

H. L. Mencken

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

Tom Waits

You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.

James Baldwin

I am not apt to follow blindly the lead of other men.

Charles Darwin

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.

Max Ehrmann

Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. Woody Allen

Compiled by Sal Moriarty