Musings Among the Mosquitoes (and Flies, and Gnats, and...) by Sal Moriarty

I'm just sitting here watching the wheels

Go round and round

I really love to watch them roll

Watching The Wheels / John Lennon

A friend of mine knows I write a bit. He was curious as to where I get ideas. I didn't have a good answer.

I write a bit about religion. This, of course, being southeast Texas, religion is always in your face. There are probably twelve churches between here and the main red light in this town of less than seven thousand. Recently, I was driving to (where else?) Walmart and was met by people holding signs asking if I'd like to pull over and pray with them. I just needed toilet paper.

I write some about politics. I don't like it much and do my best to avoid it in day-to-day life, but now, more than ever, American politics wields a jackhammer to the psyche and spirit. Nothing heroic or noble about it. How a full-grown American could show up to a national political rally, enthusiastically, waving signs, is beyond me. Sheep.

So, as a joke, my buddy sent me a link from some screwball website. It was an article (and list) entitled Interesting Topics to Write About. There were sixty-four topics/scenarios. Reading through the list, I found myself responding to some of the scenarios.

Identify a moment in your life that made you feel as though you had superpowers.

A woman where I work listens to, what they call, contemporary country music (Morgan Wallen, Jelly Roll and whoever sings that god-awful song Rock and a Hard Place - “lost it”, “Austin” and “exhausted” do not rhyme). My superhero moment? I asked her to turn the station. And she did.

How do you define family?

The only people on the planet poorer than me.

What is your most productive time of day?

Eyeballing a roll of toilet paper, wondering if it's enough.

In a natural disaster, what three things would you grab first?

Wife, liquor, cigars. Not a hypothetical.

What goals and aspirations do you hope to achieve in the next year?

See how many of these nitwits constantly jabbering about the Ten Commandments, can actually recite them.

What is your favorite activity to do in the snow?

Go inside.

What role does religion play in your life?

Less than Elvis, more than Tolkien.

What message do you keep repeating to yourself?

Don't end the day dumber than you started it.

What ethical dilemmas have you faced?

The temptation to swap the Evan Williams Bourbon price tag with Maker's Mark at Spec's.

When is the first time you felt truly independent?

When it happens, I'll let you know.

What were your parents lives like before they had children?

Happy.

What fantastical creature would you like to have come alive?

A skeptical and educated electorate.

Are there any political issues that interest you?

Could a man with the middle name of Milhous be elected president in 2024?

What do dogs say when they bark?

You're the one who brought me home, idiot.

How has water impacted your life?

Made me thirsty for whiskey.